My sweet friend and prenatal chiropractor Dr. Cindy shared her blog with me and I have discovered a new way to vent and confess in a way that uses humor to rationalize it all. :) So... here is my first attempt at a Not Me! Monday (thank you,
MckMama!), and while I surely won't do them every week this one has been strangely cathartic. Enjoy.
I would never bribe my kiddo to go in the potty with sweets or unhealthy treats,
no, not me! And then, realizing what a bad idea that was, I would never panic about the outrageous number of treats she was getting as she tinkled in the potty all day long. And I wouldn't have had to switch to giving dried cherries and raisins as treats, which would cause my daughter to just sob hysterically about being offered a healthier snack incentive,
Not my child! So in response I would never just quit the treat incentive program cold turkey and she would never freak out and sob about not getting 'yum!'s for every potty incident.
No, not me! - that would create extra drama and just be a bad idea all around and I surely would have executed this potty training plan far more
efficiently.
If I were to give Kate a
nemo sticker for peeing in the potty, and then she accidentally and immediately knocked it off her shirt and into the potty (full only of water...), I would never consider even for a split-second sticking my hand in the toilet bowl to retrieve that beloved sticker. (even if it was the ONLY
nemo sticker we had...),
no, Not me! That would be disgusting to even contemplate! And in a moment of panic trying to not have her cry at losing her precious sticker that she held for only a moment, I would never make a game of saying "bye bye,
nemo! bye bye!!" and doing a big dramatic smile and wave as we sent him off with a flush. And now, my daughter would not think this is a normal game and proceed to flush nearly every single sticker she gets after enjoying it for about an hour. Nope. If you were at our house you would never hear her little feet plodding down the hall all by herself, opening the toilet seat, saying "bye bye, turtle" or "bye bye, mickey!" followed by a flush and lots of clapping and laughter,
not my child! That would be ridiculous and a total waste of water and I would never let such silly behavior continue for the last 2 weeks,
no, not me!
I would also never let my car stereo be
permanently hijacked by an almost 2-year old who demands her fun yet "drive-your-momma-crazy" Laurie
Berkner Band CD be played
incessantly over and over,
no, not me! That would be giving an awful lot of control for such a small person who surely needs to learn that the world does not revolve entirely around them. And despite attempts by this 2-year old to get this CD turned on by demanding it LOUDLY and passionately from the backseat, I would never just totally succumb to her wishes to get a moments peace,
no, not me! I know how to fight my battles and stand my ground with my kiddos and I am always the boss.
We only use perfect English and grammar here in this household (as you can plainly see from my writings on this blog,
lol) and I would never use goofy slang around my kiddos,
no, not me! So Kate would never come up from behind me and start slapping me on my rear-end shouting "BOOTY! BOOTY!" with wild eyes and excitement, laughing hysterically at her own joke,
no, not my child! Or if I were to take her to the big potty and she were to have a successful tinkle, she would never look at the potty afterwards and shout, "Awesome!"
no, not my child! That would sound totally ridiculous of the mouth of such a little girl.
And if we were to go to a pumpkin patch that had a petting zoo, my daughter would not give the goats more kisses than she has given both of her parents in the last 3 months combined,
no, not my child! She knows and is concerned about proper hygiene, and would never be kissing on other people's goats saying "love you, goat!"
I feel so much better, ya'll should try this. :)
